100WC - Callum and Ben (Y.7 #IPACA) - CLICK HERE TO COMMENT

I was asleep and there was a giant bang at my front door, it was Jimmy the local ugly troll. He tripped over the door step and he face planted the front door. I said what happened to your face? I was delivering this box to you when I face planted your door it hurt I think I have a Brocken nose and you might  need a new door "Jimmy the troll said". Do you want me to fix your new door when you buy it? No thank-you, I fink not - I will get my dad to do it.

6 comments:

  1. Mr. Spracklen7 December 2012 at 04:40

    Callum and Ben,

    I love your troll idea - very imaginative! Amazing how so many different 100 words can come from one picture!

    In future work think about how you use speech marks. Check out this website for a good game to play at home: http://www.primaryresources.co.uk/online/speechmarks.htm

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  2. Anonymous7 December 2012 at 06:31

    What a fantastic imagination you both have.You write as you think,so I would like to see some speech marks added and encourage you to do a spell ckeck.Is the Troll "out of the box" or is the Troll "the box."

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  3. Caitlin7 December 2012 at 11:30

    Hello Friend,
    I like how you have used a retorichal question. I also like how you have used ' the local ugly troll' Next time I think that you should put some similar sentences. Great 100wc!
    From Caitlin www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net.

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  4. MerthyrAdvisor11 December 2012 at 13:49

    Firstly, well don for working toegtehr on this. I too lie th eidea of the troll, but dont like the 'face planted' term. Next time try to take a little more care with your work, spending some time reviewing your words before submitting.
    Well doen and many thanks for your entry.

    Andrew
    Team 100wc

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  5. Anonymous12 December 2012 at 12:37

    Well, I love the term 'face planted' as I feel the story is written in the first person and it's exactly what a young person might say! Perhaps though, the Troll may have not known this term and descibed his mishap differently? I'm hooked and I'm intrigiued as to what happens next...

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  6. Anonymous11 January 2013 at 10:56

    I really like this, You have captured the character of the troll (not to different to what I expect a troll to be like). My advice would read through this excellent piece of work does the punctuation work as you intended? MD

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