100WC - Tyler and Phillippa (Y.7 #IPACA) - - CLICK HERE TO COMMENT
On Christmas Eve the door bell went, I went to the door but nobody was there but a weird present was on the floor. I know the rules but I didn't know what to do? I thought in my head, shall I open it or not? I thought that I can't open it if my Mum and Dad said I couldn't. I took it into the back shed and I slowly opened it....there was a massive steep hole so I jumped in it!!! I fell and landed on very bright hot surface. I seemed to be in a desert......
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Tyler and Phillippa,
ReplyDeleteI really like how your 100WC takes us on a journey. You make good use of question marks and you leave us all hanging at the end.
I wonder if you could introduce the present in a different way?
Great story opener. The dilemma of finding an unexpected parcel, invitingly packaged, knowing it's Christmas Eve and whether it should be opened or not...and when it's opened, a time travelling vortex is revealed and the character is whisked away. But to where? What will be found there? I wonder how long the character will be away from home? Will he/she bring something significant back with them? Looking forward to the next instalment!
ReplyDeleteOh yes a great start shall I shall I not starter... you naughty pair you opened it to find... a whole new world? I want more! Why did you take the package into the shed?
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