100WC - Kiera (Y.7 #IPACA) - CLICK HERE TO COMMENT

It was midnight and Mum and Step Dad heard a bang! They thought it was Santa dropping something down the Chimney, they thought this was good. I was in bed and I thought the noise was scary. Mum opened the black and pink box which had a pink ribbon on it, it was really cool box. As she opened it there was a laptop and it was exiting.

2 comments:

  1. Mr. Spracklen7 December 2012 at 04:34

    Kiera,

    You worked well in the session independently to construct the above 100WC.

    How could you improve your last sentence to add more detail?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11 January 2013 at 11:00

    You have brought the reader into the thought of the character really well. If everyone heard the noise do you think you may have crept downstairs to investigate? MD

    ReplyDelete

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