There
was a creepy figure in front of me..... So I ran like a tiger, to my
moms bed room. When I ran in my mums bedroom my mum wasn't there so I
got really scared and hid in my mums bed then suddenly there was a lot
of bangs it sounded like somebody was stomping up the stairs then it
stopped. In the cold it was all
silent I shouted hello is anybody here then I looked up there were nearly 100 people running scared just like me...it was a new start for us all...
This post was written collaboratively by a Year 7 intervention group at IPACA.
I really like this one. My favourite of these I have read so far. I thought it was going to be about tigers and then it seemed to me to be like a waking nightmare. Good effort!
ReplyDeleteGreat use of similies... You have set the scene really well, I feel I could be one of the 100 running too. Could you have described the creepy figure in more detail? MD
ReplyDeleteHi there, I like this one a lot. I read it to my 14yr old son and he was desperate to know what you were hiding from. We thought that a few commas, (carefully placed) would increase the tension and turn it from good work, to great work. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteHi guys, thank you for your 100WC entry it was very exciting to read. I also think that some commas would have broken uo the story a little and made it flow more. I would love to know what happened next!
ReplyDelete